Be there 4ever <3

Thursday 14 May 2009Y

Helo :D
I don't feel like updating today.
But just one word to describe today: Happy (:

ily (:

ends at Thursday, May 14, 2009

Tuesday 12 May 2009Y

I feel really empty today.
sigh..he didn't come.
and i can't help but feel worried.
he didn't say a thing..
gosh!
argh.
Crazy thoughts start coming up to my mind which made me even more worried.
.......................................
I just hope nothing bad happened.
I just stared out of the window on the bus, listening to music.
The sky is so grey.
So is my mood.

I have many things going on in my mind now.
I don't know what to do.
I feel like my life now, is just like a countdown.
A countdown to going back to s'pore and being a zombie.
What's gonna happen to me back there?
I don't know.
wo bu zhi dao.

Exams.
I don't do well, I'm just gonna make my parents disappointed and in turn, make myself disappointed.
I don't think I've been this worried for exams before.

You.
What's gonna happen to us?
Just focus on the present..

There's this heavy weight I'm holding on to right now.
Maybe its just one of my mood swings.
cause i tend to be okay once i'm with him.
everything seems possible when i'm with him.
i feel more relaxed.
like nothing bad is gonna happen.
cause i know, he'll be right by my side.

I don't wanna leave.
Each day, each week, each second, each minute, each hour, brings me nearer to saying goodbye to everyone.
Each day, each week, each second, each minute, each hour, brings me nearer to not be with him.

Its hard.
But I know I can do it.
I faced this kinda pain before.
And I chose to face it again.
Saying goodbye, is never easy.
But in our lives, there'll always be times which we have to say it.

where are you right now?
I have something that I've always been wanting to tell you.

ends at Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Monday 11 May 2009Y

let's hope tomorrow will be a good day (:

I don't wanna leave.
Why..?
I don't want this to happen.
I don't ever want to leave my friends, my life here, and especially, you...

Very soon, the school year is gonna be over.
That day is gonna be so bitter.
I mean, its our 4th month and we have to spend it saying byebye and crying.
Don't let that day be the last day we'll see each other.
I know we're still gonna see each other...

ends at Monday, May 11, 2009

Today was a very hot day.
The sun was shining down on me.
I was sweating like crazy.

:D
hehe hmm...
reached school,
science: boring but learnt stuff :X
assembly: boring.
PE: tiring, touch rugby is pretty fun but the sun was so freaking hot. I nearly died of dehydration :X
Chinese: Yang lao shi just kept talking and talking. -.-
Lunch: Yummy noodles with curry and kimchi :D
went up to class.
nearly died from boredom.
I remember filling up kim's water bottle and mine.
then i went back to class.
took comb and went to the toilet to tie up hair.
came back saw -- waved lol
went back to class.
stared at the wall -.-
went to sis's class.
ainsley threw a red cotton cushion at me.
it was tiny.
she kept aiming at my area.
i'm not a guy -.-
went back to class.
took ipod.
gave to sis.
went back to her class, ate mentos which ainsley gave me. (taken from karmun.)
oh i remember hitting ainsley with the cushion and i aimed and hit a water bottle smack down :D!
and i threw it backwards, sis called me lame.
kept hanging around the door.
walked back and forth.
looked for -- but he was somewhere else.
who knows where :X
haha i didn't go look for him.
he must be having fun somewhere.
talked talked talked to clarissa.
oh i went to 1 amber and said hi to simran and karmun.

anyway, lunch was dead boring.
just walked up and down the corridor and hang around the door looking for you know who.

now, i don't feel like doing hw, but i think i better do the IT evaluation T.T
freak D:
tuition later.
it'll be an hr of torture and looking at the clock.

i nearly died doing the math test.
drama: haha we didn't have it cause we were doing the math test.
eng: we wasted so much time and again, only one group presented.

oh well, today was so boring.
kill me D:

you freaking bastard!
how can you make her feel like that?!
i feel like hitting you.
freaking lame person.
><

ends at Monday, May 11, 2009

Sunday 10 May 2009Y

Happy Mother's Day :D

went out yesterday with family to celebrate mother's day.
flea market again, wasn't as fun as the previous time though.
Bought bracelets, keychain and skirt :D
ate lunch which wasn't very good :X
took taxi to Gubei =D
haha i like gubei.
wanna live near there ><
i told my parents that then they said 'we're already going back to s'pore' D:
):
so sad..
went to carrefour, walked around.
ate TEPPANYAKI =D
haha yummy :D
I LOVE THE MEAT (:
lol I am a meat lover (:
what i can do without meat?!
at home, did hw, chat online, sms Anna :D
hehe xD
Yeah i like watermelons :D
esp in hot weather like now T.T
i feel so nice now :D
just had a cool bath (:
but my hands feel hot D:
cause stupid laptop is getting how -.-

oh and after i smsed anna last night, i went to bed.
guess what happened?
i slept for like half an hr and i woke up!
scratching myself -.-
there was a very stupid mosquito in my room which bit my finger and arm ):
argh hate it D:
i was sleepy so i just ignored it.
then i heard a buzzing sound so i knew the mosquito was not finished with me.
i quickly got up and went to my sis's room to get mosquito spray repellent.
its not on my table xD
i gave my sis a shock by appearing at her room :x
poor her, if it was me, i would have died lol
i sprayed my sister's room, the corridor, every corner of my room, underneath my bed, under my table, my soft toys, my bags, that mickey mouse sofa/bed, the wardrobe, my blanket, the curtain.
and the mosquito appeared after i kept spraying!
D:
i wanted to kill it but i missed T.T
i tot it died cause it seemed to be flying rather weirdly.
i was so scared to sleep, fearing it would bite my face and i will have to go to school with a swollen face D:
so i slept with the light on :X
haha xD
in case i hear a buzzing and i can just kill that freaking mosquito.
but i fell asleep.
next moring, i woke up scratching again.
-.-
and i have now,
2 mosquito bites on my leg, one on my finger, three on my arm.
how nice ):

I HATE MOSTQUITOS!!

tonight, i have to spray my room again
oh and i lost my tie -.-
don't wanna get scolded by those teachers ><
anyone got a spare one? :X
where is it? ):
i miss you D:
i didn't even get to learn how to tie you ><

SCHOOL TOMORROW =D

ends at Sunday, May 10, 2009

Friday 8 May 2009Y

10.43pm
i'm tired.
gonna read and maybe sleep.

Today was good day.
haha but don't feel like writing about it now.
just that we only studied for one period :D
so nice..
but exams coming liao.
):

Today was just:

-PE
-No teacher for one period =D free (:
-History: 20 mins talked about exam, 30mins did sculpture :D
-PC: continued with sculpture, we're done :D and it looks so pretty (:
-Lunch: yay :D so bored while eating so hardly talked :X went up, hung out with --, Mel and Simran :D haha it was fun (:
-Math- stayed in class and did nothing. :D no test!
-Chi: read txtbk bla bla
-Eng: mr R didn't come, went to art room to prepare for project fair.

:D

my toe is healing :D
i'm having many bad hair days -.-
my finger got burnt by hot glue D: (YP, its okay :D accidents happen (: )
paint got on my pants and shirt T.T
stupid patrick hit my face.
what kinda hi5 is that?!
it was so hot today.
wearing shorts and short sleeves now (:
how nice is that?! =P

yay good day :D

i obviously think too much.
sigh, just destroying myself like that.
but now, things seem to be really much better (:
i mean it.
i'm gonna stop thinking too much.

i'm gonna leave.
but i manage to stop thinking so much about it.
its hard to stop thinking about it when everything just reminds me of going back.
don't wanna cry ><
and i didn't :D

yeah, Melody is right.
if I don't trust myself, how can he even trust me?
i'm being so pathetic here.
i must have confidence in myself.
or else i'm just ruining myself and him.
so for both of us, i'm not gonna be a total freak.

Thanks Melody (:
I Mean it !
and when i said i would be worried about you, i meant it!!
D:
so everybody out there, just jia you.
go grab every opportunity out there.
it only comes once.
if you want something to happen, DO IT.
it won't just come to you.
you have to work for it.
dont complain.
this is LIFE.
it has good things and bad things.
after every bad thing, there is always good.
everything will always be happy in the end.
that's true.
sometimes, girls have to take initiative.
i don't care about the crap ppl say that boys should always be the one.
its kinda unfair to them
they are also humans, they get scared too.
sometimes you just have to give them a push, or let them know that they shouldn't be scared to try.

i love you (:
don't let go of my hand...

ends at Friday, May 08, 2009

Wednesday 6 May 2009Y

I seriously need anger management -.-
argh, what happened to the promise you myself?!
i get angry easily towards my family members, mostly to my dad.
-.-

okay don't wanna destroy my mood, but he is always suspecting me -.-
gosh, i'm like some retard to him.

My cousin and her wife is a very good example of a couple lol xD
today was fun (:
well okay la lol

I overselpt today :D!!
woke up 25mins past the time i was supposed to wake up (:
hehe and my sis got scolded for not waking me up =D
felt quite shuang xD
heard my mum saying she was very selfish for not waking me up xD
i called her freak when i saw her (:
she told me to shut up.
i just stuffed the bread in my mouth but it was kinda hard cause i woke up late :X

oh and i could have reached school early today ><
but i got into a car accident -.-
my first one ever =O
thank goodness it wasn't serious and i was wearing seat belts =D
haha see must thank the inventor (:
my bus hit the car infront of us -.-

but kinda glad i missed class,
cause is was double science D:

history- had presetations which bored me D:
so sleepy D:

lunch- ate 2 brownies and bowl noodles :D
how nice is that?! :D
Kim and I were like in Heaven xD
walked to comp lab and ping pong room :x
then sculpture.
finally saw --
he was up i was down :X
no wonder la D:

IT- blogged as you can see from the previous entry :D
still have 2 more evaluations for my story board -.-
have to start on my flash video asap!

english- i love thunder by boys like girls :D
I love boys like girls :D!!!
they rock (:
the best band ever :D
sorry Regina ><
only one group did presentation -.-

tomorrow is Mr Ross's b day
cake :D!
hehe in double eng :D
use up his class time xD
but main thing is his birthday (:
hope he'll be happy x)
and find someone he can be happy with :D
don't be so mean by calling him nerd la :X
let's hope tomorrow will be a good day for us all (:

ends at Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Tuesday 5 May 2009Y

:D
yay (:
its IT now D:
hate it ><
stupid flash video.
i can't believe i have to put in alot of effort for this D:

oh and the yay was cause today was a good day xD
lol (:
you guys should congratulate me for being once again, cheerful lol

lunch, looking for --. turns out he went up i went down :X
so sad D:
i should find another octopus.
its so cute xD
okay i have to get back to work now.
its piling up already -.-
stress is coming T.T

ends at Tuesday, May 05, 2009

oh what the heck.
tomorrow, you don't look, i look!
><
i wanna know what you're thinking.
i will pass you the octopus tomorrow.
i will tell you tomorrow.
if you ignore me, i'll just ignore it.
i will pass you the heart tomorrow.
i will talk to you tomorrow.

ends at Tuesday, May 05, 2009

woohoo~
i just announced to my msn contact list that I freaking miss him to bits.
wow.
...............................
i'm not in a very good mood.
thank goodness i can be high to get rid of these thoughts.
i like crying
no correct that.
i LOVE it.
I ENJOY IT.
yay~~
what the hell..?
what am i doing?!
he's gonna hate me for doing this ><
i can't help it.
i miss you.
why is it that some guys can go on for many days without spending time with the person they're with?
i'm not complaining.
oh well, they also have their own friends to spend time with.
hmm....
its so fun you know.
being emo and everything.
don't know what the heck am i doing...
shut up!!!
just shut up!!!
i cried today.
at the 2nd floor.
yay~
to hell with it.
i freaking cried!
i hate it when i cry.
at least it didn't get swollen this time.
oh crap oh crap oh crap.
would you be happier if i'm not with you?
i don't know.
i hardly saw you these days that i didn't get a chance to pass you the present i bought for you.
There are times like after school before school.
but i don't just wanna rush into giving you ><
i wanna like hand it to you properly...
lonely~ i am so lonely~ i have nobody~ all on my own~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i know thats not true :x

ends at Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I'm so stupid and ugly.
Nobody cares about me.
The whole planet/ universe is against me.
I'm so dumb.
I'm not gonna have any future at all.
what the hell.
noone cares.
NOONE.
Everyone goes 'who is that girl?! eww!'
they all just leave me alone.
i cry and cry.
nothing happenes.
noone comes.
my parents hate me.
friends hate me.
boyfriend doens't freaking give a damn.
they are all happier without me in their world.
i should just disappear or get lost.
i suck at everything.
i'm the laughing stock of the family and school.
this ugly girl is so hedious.
everyone just stares.
and says in their mind'i've never met someone that ugly before!!'

hah.

Okay, i do not mean that.
its just kind of nice to lower my self esteem.
don't know why.
i can release abit of worries from that.

ends at Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Monday 4 May 2009Y

Its english now...
but i have no mood to do anything right now.
where are you?
freak, i miss you ><
i think the reason is just cause i'm a girl.
guys don't feel like that right?
how do they live without seeing their partner for a few days?
or just not spending time.
they don't seem to show anyemotion.
or they're just hiding it?
...
iwishtheyknewwhatwe were thinking.
what are you thinking?
i'm just thinking too much?
i don't know.
where are you...?
you're now upstairs in class.
rlisdtening to mdm liongs math teaching.
ni huixiangwoma?
saying hi to me in the corridor is enough?
what...?
why do i think so much.
hdfr78hfd4784h5grtg48751g0 h/89/h.4t47dr/r*fdy1.078h4f5dh/r45hd9879y8h7rd//fjdskl;fjesklfwelaksd;jf;klasn54610458df74h85dfjmklhd7fvch7dfrfyhfhtdjd
jiovcsdjtfeklj;vsjkl;fsadjkljfskdlajlkfasdjkldsfajklfsadjklafkljdsfkjflads;kjlfdsa;fjaskljflksdajfkldjslakjfdlskjfdskljdlkjsdlkjdslkjdslkdjsalkdsajklafffffffffffffffffffffffflkasjfklasdj;ut vsdhkrueisfodjioej;fdkvnailrtj

ends at Monday, May 04, 2009

Back in shanghai (:
haha so glad :D
stay in s'pore also nothing to do :X
R&R have exams ): so can't go out T.T
Stay at home nothing to do.
TV spoil -.-
Laptop gets so hot -.-
so here I am ^^

Morning was good ^-^
Science was boring. felt tired. didn't get enough sleep. Woke up 8+ on sunday, took plane, didn't sleep onboard, went to bed at 1. Woke up at 5.45am? so noisy -.-
Assembly was okay. Nice song :D
Chinese- gosh stupid jason -.- picked my name. thank goodness I didn't have to show my voice record. i lied that my sister was screaming in the recording, he still didn't care D:
lunch- food was good. nearly died from fumes -.-
math- oh great. i should congratulate myself you know. I LOVE Crying -.- screw this... Thanks Kim and Young Eun (:

I feel useless. To him. I don't think I even deserve him...it suddenly hit me today. He always seem to have more fun whenever he is around friends. Don't know whether i'm imagining or what. but, he always does. I think i make him bored. and he is probably thinking what a boring person i am. why am i like that. what happened to me? my feelings for him have not been lessened. great, i'm don't know why, i still get nervous in front of him. my heart still beats super fast when i see him. :X and my mind just blanks out. TT i'm sorry... why do you still even wanna be with me despite me being like that? there are so many girls out there who are much more fun than me. everytime i tell you this, you say that you're the hyper one... and its okay... you don't mind... i feel so happy and sad at the same time..i feel so happy that i am with someone who is so understanding...who is still willing to be with me even though at times i'm so mute. but sad at the same time. that i have to let you put up with it. sometimes, i wonder whether you'll be better off without me... whether you'll be much happier without me.. but in the end, before i even dare to finish thinking about that, i stop immediately. cause i know that i don't ever wanna leave you..i love you. i need you. i want to be with you. i wonder what am i gonna do without you. i think i'll just be a living corpse. just following my daily timetable with no emotions at all. i listen to songs that i listen to at that time you bu with me. that stinging pain comes back. worse than a sting actually. my heart immediately hurts. i can't believe we're back together. so happy.. (: i don't know. i dont even know what i don't know -.- i'm starting to talk nonsense. gosh, i love you. i love you so much. i've never loved anyone before. how do i know that its love? the feeling is just so strong already.. its not like. i remember that day that i realised that my feelings for you were so much. that it turned to love already. i was just overcome with this huge feeling and realization. i was just sitting in my bus staring out the window. then it came to me. 'i love him' i know it. that was on 5 jan. the day before you bu with me..:X so sad.. felt really terrible ><>

okay gonna sleep.
so sleepy D:

love you forever.

ends at Monday, May 04, 2009

Saturday 2 May 2009Y

Have to bathe soon, or else dad will nag at me D:
Woke up early, 9plus :D
ate carrot cake again (:
Now I agree white one is nicer than the black one.
But in shanghai, black one nicer.
cause there's more taste.
in singapore, white one is much better :D!
sounds kinda ... :X
went to popular, bought pretty colored pens =D
wanted to buy an assesment bk but it was so ex ><
still thinking whether i should buy.
15.90 leh!
but its realy good, it shows you the steps to do the math questions.
and eg.
i can use that to revise.
shit exams D:
went to NTUC.
Bought chocolate :D
and sour candy :D
i brought 40 over dollars to sg.
but don't know why i only have like 11+ left D:
but at least i spent it on items i like :D
and sis still owe me 5.
so still ok? :X
i like the octopus :D
so cute lol
that one is cute.
its pink :D
xD
i'm going to boon tong kee later to eat with relatives ^^
four of us gotta take pics! ><
yesterday, went to uncle's house and watch X Men.
it rocks you know!
so cool xD
wolverine :D
haha love the movie, recommended (:
still wanna watch slumdog.
:X
and 17 again! :D
heard its good.
and Night at the Museum 2 :D
hehe xD
i remember watching it at malaysia genting :D
i'm not gonna eat any snacks till dinner,
so that i can savour the taste of all the food i eat later on (:
HOR FUN

I WANT HOR FUN.

xD
awwwww, the taste of it xD
i ate durian just now, but not so sweet D:
later going to geylang and buy =D!!
yay xD

I have a surprise for you guys (:
hope it works :X
(:
please let it work!!!

Annabelle!!
where are you? D;
Simran!!
miss you D:
Miss you guys D:

still have to buy more snacks (:

ends at Saturday, May 02, 2009

Friday 1 May 2009Y

Its hot over here :x
Hope it isn't that hot in shanghai yet ><
sweating D:

anyways, its 10.59.
I miss --.
the thought of five days without him freaking sucks.
but its still better than the x mas holiday..
nearly died at that time :X
oh and the excursion, so close to tears :X

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i feel tired.
have lots of things to buy.
candy~
you guys want anythng?
i can try to get it for you guys ^^

I want to eat durian.
durian fruit
durian puff
durian pudding

haha no durian sweet
its not nice ><
ahh the creamy texture :D
lol xD

ate ba chor mee, otah and satay just now (:
haha ba chor mee rocks to the core.
otah- it tasted kinda weird.
but i love otah :D
satay rocks :D

okay gonna read now :D
and sleep (:

11.11
:D

i love you forever and ever (:

miss you ):

ends at Friday, May 01, 2009